Keeping Hope Alive
“Face the facts of being what you are, for that is what changes what you are." -Soren Kierkegaard
I felt it was time to climb out of my work slump and share my thoughts. Lately I’ve been feeling stuck between the struggle of wanting something better for myself and the confusion of how to figure out exactly what that is, as well as how to stop procrastinating. Between working two jobs, which is typically 6 days a week if I don’t give my shifts away, and being a mel-o-dramatic twenty-four year old, I get burned out fast.
Trying to navigate how to be actively in control of your destiny while succeeding in life is some draining shit; I’m not talking reality tv Love & Hip Hop draining either. It’s the ‘how am I going to pay my bills, finish school, be an anti-fuck boy” thought process that is sucking the fun out of my life. I look at my peers in the 21-25 demographic, but they all seems to be on the opposite ends of the spectrum. This my perspective on the spectrum: My FB peers either recently graduated college, or they dropped out of school or never even enrolled in college after high school. One half is typically moving to graduate school, finding a stable career and/or engaged, while the other half is one step away from being Erika and Scrappy. They typically are shacking up with their bootycalls for lack of a better work, having kids with their “bae”, maintaining regular jobs and acting fake grown, and/or living with their parents with no job. Oh yeah, I can’t forget about my crime involved, gang-banging Facebook peers.
So between those two choices, I feel a bit lost at sea. I’m staying afloat working in food services, and holding down an internship. I also live with my relative who isn’t forcing me to pay rent, BUT I want to obtain my bachelors degree before the year 2015 ends, and bring my dreams to life. *cues FAME music*
Let’s face it, deep down inside everyone no one WANTS to be the “ain’t shit” friend/family member. So how do you avoid that tittle and settling for less where-ever you may be in life? Fortunately for me, I picked up a few hobbies that have started to become a passion of mine: Dance, Photography, and loathing in pop culture on the internet! I feel kind of lame compared to ALL of those Facebook peers I listed above… yes, even the baby factory ones! My most crucial flaw has always been comparison. It’s fact that we all do it, but it’s how you internalize the self critique based upon what you are measuring yourself against.
What I’m trying to say is, I CHOOSE BEYONCE! Okay, in all seriousness I just want to die knowing I didn’t rest on my laurels, or resort to being a herbalife or Wake Up Now “client”. If that means pushing myself to uncomfortable limits, being broke cause I’m investing my money in education or my brand, and even looking like a fool to my peers, then count me in!